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(More customer reviews)This book is the "Missing Link."
Dr. Tessina is absolutely correct in observing that yes - the 12 steps are an incredibly valuable program - in fact, perhaps even the only way to stop drinking.
However, one does eventually "grow out" of them in some sense. That is, drinking has stopped for a long period of time, all of the steps have been successfully worked, and the concepts are grasped and implemented into daily living. Then what? To use an analogy, AA becomes somewhat of a broken record player. Some people are ready for the next step, but aren't sure what that is.
What Dr. Tessina shares with us is how to address the mental thought patterns and dependence issues which may have triggered escape through addiction in the first place. If this is not addressed, we have nothing more than a dry drunk on our hands - someone who is not actively drinking, but who still displays qualities identified in addicts.
This book helps one to put the focus squarely on themselves, and introduces us to the concept that no one is coming to "make it better." It is our responsibility to meet our own needs. That epiphany alone is what frees us.
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The Real 13th Step : Discovering Confidence, Self-Reliance, and Independence Beyond the 12-Step ProgramsTina Tessina asserts that, despite the millions who've found relief from addictive and compulsive habits through 12-step programs, these same programs' insistence that members always keep coming back unwittingly fosters attitudes that can undermine independence, self-confidence, and self-reliance, the foundations of a long, successful, healthy life. The Real 13th Step dispels the bedrock recovery principle that some people are just born with addictive personalities. Instead, Tina Tessina targets the real problem as learned dependency, and she teaches readers how to develop the three central skills of true independence: risk-taking, problem-solving, and coping with failure. She then offers practical advice about applying these principles in every aspect of our lives: relationships, work, decision-making, and managing the continuing temptations of addiction.Readers will discover how to take control of their own lives and remain free of the fear of relapse or setback in their recovery.
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