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(More customer reviews)Psychoanalyst Freud describes in his psychoanalytic theory of "repetition-compulsion," our tendency to re-enact earlier experiences for the mind to heal itself of trauma. Philosopher Santayana reminds us that those who ignore the lessons of history are doomed to repeat them. In "Learning from Divorce," divorce attorney-mediator Christie Coates and child custody and parenting evaluator-mediator Bob Lacrosse artfully provide tools for the sometimes painful, always challenging and often rewarding work of self-examination - in the aftermath of divorce. They urge the reader to: consider their role in choosing their partner and in the relationship's "breakup," discard the limiting myths of marriage, understand the divorce grieving process, shed old patterns of blame, and rediscover the authentic self.
"We don't have the luxury of Bill Murray's [wacky weatherman] character in [the movie] Ground Hog Day," the authors remind us. (There simply aren't unlimited chances in real life, to try and try again to "get it right" - to perfect our approaches to meaningful relationships.) "Learning From Divorce" provides powerful insight and practical direction in the HOW of rebuilding after, and even growing from, the often dark experience of divorce.
As a conflict resolution professional assisting couples with this life passage and having experienced firsthand divorce's challenges, I found this book a unique distillation of many earlier researchers' work and at the same time, a fresh look with new approaches and tools. Highly recommended for the layperson and professional alike!
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