Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts
Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts

Shug (Thorndike Literacy Bridge Young Adult) Review

Shug (Thorndike Literacy Bridge Young Adult)
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Nope. I didn't want to read, "Shug". I just didn't. I took one look at its cool cover and thought it was a piece of YA literature. By and large, as a children's librarian I tend to avoid teen books. It was only when fellow children's librarians (4 or so) insisted that this book would be beloved by kids too that I caved in and picked it up. If ever the world of librarianship is further subdivided into Children's Librarians, YA Librarians, and Tween Librarians, I can tell you right here and now that "Shug" will belong firmly to the latter. Covering everything from a girl's first kiss to getting her period to dealing with the separation of boys and girls once they're hit by the puberty stick, this book is a summarization of adolescence that smacks of truth.
Annemarie a.k.a. Shug, just realized something while sitting on her front porch with her oldest friend, Mark. She loves him. This is a little strange when she considers that she's known the guy practically all her life. Still, there's no denying her current feelings. They just couldn't have come at a worse point in their lives. Once this summer is over, Mark and Annemarie will be entering Junior High for the very first time. Now Annemarie will have to deal with the various school cliques and cruelties. She'll have to face up to the fact that her often drunk mother and too absent father may be having more than their regular marital difficulties. She'll accept that her best friend Elaine has more on her mind these days than regular girl problems. And she'll need to figure out what exactly she's going to do, if anything, about the Mark situation.
It sounds trite. It sounds like its been done before. But the remarkable thing about "Shug" is that it reads like nothing I've ever read. What I can't figure out is how author Jenny Han has found a way to capture with pinpoint accuracy what it feels like to be twelve. Shug is twelve incarnate and Han knows how to zero in on the deadly seriousness with which every adolescent thinks they are entitled. The pain of a crush becomes, "I never know love felt like cancer of the throat". And then, of course, there's the sudden difference between how you've dealt with boys in the past and how you're dealing with them now. Shug goes to hang out with Mark and his friends and suddenly everything that was once simple becomes complicated. She can't be herself or even join in with their conversation. "They take everything and breathe up all the air in the room".
I loved Han's writing too. She has a sense of humor, saving the book from the overearnest drama inherent in tween narratives. For example, when Shug attempts to describe her "perfect" older sister, she mentions that, "She is smaller than me, the kind of small that boys want to scoop up and hold on to real tight". In comparison, our heroine feels that she has, "no womanly curves to speak of. I can't fill a pudding cup with what I've got". And with this writing Han is able to put into words the moral uncertainty that comes with subverting yourself to fit into middle school society. When Shug unceremoniously dumps a girl named Sherilyn as a friend, she notes, not without a little sorrow, that, "I know I could be cool if I didn't have Sherilyn hanging on to me. It's like trying to shimmy up a rope with a moose tied to your ankles. You've just gotta cut that moose loose". Kudos to Han for not ending the book with Shug learning an "important lesson" about the true meaning of friendship blah blah blah. You may feel sorry for Sherilyn, but be honest with yourself. Would YOU have been friends with her in middle school? After all, when invited to a sleepover you know that, "She's the one the mom has to befriend". So true it literally stings when you read it.
Characters. Want `em? You got `em. In fact the most alarming and complex character comes in the form of Shug's alternately beloved and loathed mother. Mrs. Wilcox was born in Clementon, left, returned with an education, and has lived in contempt of her contemporaries ever since. She's the kind of woman who names her daughters after Alice Walker novels. Who can't cook but lets her children know that their one job in life is to get out of Clementon someday. She also drinks to excess and is a fairly bad mother. Still, you sympathize with her, even when you shouldn't. Whole novels could be based on Mrs. Wilcox. In her, Han finds the ideal mother, villain, and anti-hero. Other characters fare just as well. There's Jack, a boy that Shug has to tutor and who has always been her nemesis. Adults reading the book will recognize the role he'll play right from the start. Kids will find it more of a surprise.
The fact that the title character's name comes from a character from "The Color Purple" was kind of amusing. I mean, we're in whitebread country here. The only person of color in this entire book is the title character's best friend Elaine who happens to be American born Korean. Now the book takes place in a town named Clementon in the South, but Clementon is never really ever pinpointed on a map. It's a small town with all the good and the bad that comes with such a place. And the bad, I suspect, is directly tied into the lack of any race other than that of whitey.
When I was sixteen I fell desperately in love with a boy with whom I was the best of friends. The fact that he once literally said I was "like a sister to him" didn't prove to be the deterrent I'm sure he'd hoped it would. So when fellow author Gigi Amateau wrote the book blurb, "From the first page, Jenny Han transported me back to a time when I loved a boy with all my heart and held my breath for him to love me, too", I couldn't have said it better myself. This is all the pain and brief pleasure a person feels when they first begin to get serious crushes. Honest, open, beautiful, and concise. In "Shug" readers (oh fine... GIRL readers) will discover an author that truly understands what they're going through and that it is survivable. This is early adolescence synthesized in a single perfect novel.

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Brunettes Strike Back Review

Brunettes Strike Back
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Good for ALL high school students, their parents, teachers and administrators to read. I am a retired school superintendent and ALL students experience this type of treatment. This is definitely a type of school bullying and it has to stop. I feel it would make excellent MANDATORY reading for high school freshmen.

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Trauma and the Avoidant Client: Attachment-Based Strategies for Healing (Norton Professional Books) Review

Trauma and the Avoidant Client: Attachment-Based Strategies for Healing (Norton Professional Books)
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Dr. Robert Muller has provided psychotherapists with an extraordinary
book! It is impressive in both its presentation of therapeutic strategies
and its insights into the experiences of clients who are known to be very hard to treat.
This book integrates attachment theory and recent advances in the
treatment of intra-familial trauma, and it details new psychotherapeutic techniques to
work successfully with clients for whom therapy can often be highly threatening.
Perhaps most significantly, Dr. Muller helps the reader to learn how to
meaningfully engage clients who present with a self-protective, help-rejecting
stance. With vivid and fascinating vignettes, brilliant insight, and an intimate,
accessible writing style, Dr. Muller shows us how to best help treatment-resistant
clients trust the therapeutic relationship enough to be challenged toward making
concrete change.
We learn about the very common pitfalls of working with this population -such as colluding
with clients in their avoidance of painful feelings- as well as how to deal with these potential
pitfalls at each step of the therapeutic process.
This book is a tremendously rich resource for therapists at any stage of their career, as well as for anyone
wishing to have a deeper understanding of trauma, attachment, and psychotherapy -including instructors and supervisors.
With compassion and sensitivity, Dr. Muller illustrates the often difficult and puzzling process of successful therapy
with avoidant clients. As a clinician, I found this book to be inspirational and I give it my highest possible recommendation.
Mirisse Foroughe, Ph.D.
Clinical-Developmental Psychology
Summerville Family Health Team, Toronto

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How to effectively engage traumatized clients, who avoid attachment, closeness, and painful feelings.

A large segment of the therapy population consist of those who are in denial or retreat from their traumatic experiences. Here, drawing on attachment-based research, the author provides clinical techniques, specific intervention strategies, and practical advice for successfully addressing the often intractable issues of trauma.

Trauma and the Avoidant Client will enhancethe skills of all mental health practitioners and trauma workers, and will serve as a valuable, useful resource to facilitatechange and progress in psychotherapy.






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Saving Your Second Marriage Before It Starts Review

Saving Your Second Marriage Before It Starts
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As a divorced person, I have often felt like there are many books written about marriage, but few that deal with the specific issues that I can only imagine affect second marriages. Not content with reading just another book about the general subject of marriage, and not really wanting to read another book about divorce, I was very pleased to be given this book on remarriage. After reading through it, I feel so much more confident now about my ability to enter a second marriage and not be trapped by fears and insecurities that resulted from my first. I feel much more able now to look objectively at the areas I still need to heal and grow in. Praise God for the careful work of Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott in addressing this seldom-addressed issue. I HIGHLY recommend this for anyone who is divorced, even if they haven't yet addressed the possibility of remarriage in their life. [Edit on Jan 10, 2008, about six years after the original review!]: I have come to not necessarily agree with everything that the authors write in this book. But I did find it extremely helpful at the time I read it and wrote this review.]

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Sixty percent of second marriages fail. Yours can be among the ones that succeed. Relationship experts Les and Leslie Parrott show how you can beat the odds with flying colors and make remarriage the best thing that's ever happened to you. Do you have the skills you need? Now is the time to acquire them--and build a future together that is everything marriage can and ought to be.Also available: men's workbook, women's workbook, and abridged audio cassette version

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Living Together, Feeling Alone: Healing Your Hidden Loneliness Review

Living Together, Feeling Alone: Healing Your Hidden Loneliness
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Great book! Well written and easy to read. Dr. Kiley does a wonderful job of identifying symptoms and causes of loneliness in a relationship, and specific steps to deal with it. A great book for emotional and spiritual growth. I really enjoyed it.

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Living Together Loneliness has already affected millions of supposedly happily "coupled" women.Now, renowned psychologist and bestselling author Dr. Dan Kiley smashes the myth that loneliness is based on being alone. After validating your problem with a wide range of real-life stories, Dr. Kiley guides you through a life-affirming, five-step "self-reliance" program that will move you away from blaming your partner toward loving yourself and recognizing your own inner strength. You'll learn how to:-- Use spiritual behaviorism and its three, principles: faith, hope, and love-- Reassure the frightened little girl inside-- Change your peace-at-any-price philosophy-- Stop being a perfectionist-- Master ten ways of raising your self-esteem-- Break old rules and expectations by developing new, healthier onesWith Dr. Kiley's empathetic support, you will learn that the power to exchange your loneliness for happiness is within, and that self-love (not only love for others) is the key.--This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

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Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts: Seven Questions to Ask Before and After You Marry Review

Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts: Seven Questions to Ask Before and After You Marry
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Having counseled many couples in 20 years of pastoral ministry, I have read several books on marital, interpersonal relationships. The authors present sound principles that are easy for persons to understand and to apply. I had a few older favorites I would recommend to couples until reading this book -- now I have a new favorite to share instead!
One of the unique, most admirable qualities of this work is that it is very helpful to persons regardless of their marital status. A single individual will find it helpful for insight during dating. A person who is engaged will find it helpful in identifying issues that are sure to arise within marriage. A newlywed will find it helpful in responding to the major adjustments of sharing his/her life with another person. A person who has been married for several years will find it helpful in understanding how a marriage deepens and grows over the course of time.
I strongly recommend this book to anyone wanting to enhance the relationship with his/her "significant other." The Parrotts also have video tapes available to use in a seminar or as part of pre-marital or post-marital counseling. This book is definitely one to own!

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Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts, created by relationship experts Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, is a comprehensive marriage program designed specifically for today's couples by a couple. And now, in this updated edition, the Parrotts' award-winning approach has been expanded to incorporate ten more years of feedback, research, and professional experience.This is more than a book---it's practically a self-guided premarital counseling course, and it is used by counselors and churches across the country and, now in ten languages, worldwide. Questions at the end of every chapter help you explore each topic personally. Companion men's and women's workbooks* full of self-tests and exercises help you apply what you learn and enjoy intimate discussions along the way. There is even a seven-session DVD kit (with a bonus session for people entering a second marriage) available that you can use on your own or with other couples in a group or a class that want to grow together. In this dynamic DVD you'll not only hear entertaining and insightful teaching from The Parrotts, but you'll also meet other real-life couples who provide amazing candor and perspective.Relationship experts Les and Leslie Parrott show you the secrets to building a marriage that lasts.* Uncover the most important misbeliefs of marriage* Learn how to communicate with instant understanding* Discover the secret to reducing and resolving conflict* Master the skills of money management* Get your sex life off to a great start* Understand the three essential ingredients to lasting love* Discover the importance of becoming 'soul mates' ... and more.Make your marriage everything it is meant to be. Save your marriage---before (and after) it starts.

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Ethnicity and Family Therapy, Third Edition Review

Ethnicity and Family Therapy, Third Edition
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I first read this book several years ago. I am a professional computer scientist/applied mathematician, and have no training at all in any social science aside from history, government and anthropology courses taken in college (lo these many years ago). My interest in this book arises from the illumination that its chapters on the English, the Irish, the Italians and the Jews (the main ethnic groups in the town in which I grew up) have given to otherwise inexplicable bits of my life. For example, I could never understand why one of my Yankee friends would go into paroxysms of anger when, after inviting his daughter to Sunday dinner, she would accept, and then call with a (legitimate) excuse on Saturday; or why one of my mother's best friends, a woman of Irish descent, drove me wild for over 40 years with her teasing manner, although she clearly meant very well towards me. The pathways of social and familial relationships passed from generation to generation through the filter of ethnic heritage appears to be remarkably powerful, even in these post-melting-pot days. Read this book with an eye to self-discovery if you don't believe me!

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Franny B. Kranny, There's a Bird in Your Hair Review

Franny B. Kranny, There's a Bird in Your Hair
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Franny B Kranny loved her long red frizzy hair even if it was always getting stuck in things and causing trouble. So when her mother drags her to the hairdresser before a family reunion, she isn't happy. The hairdresser does his best to pin it up and make it look neat, while Franny schemes to undo his work as soon as she's out of the chair. But as she leaves the salon, a bird lands on her head, snuggles down in her hair and calls it home. Her family is appalled, but Franny is thrilled and very careful not to disturb the bird even sleeping upright in a chair. The next day at the reunion, Franny's family is so embarrassed they keep their distance. But the rest of her relatives are fascinated and Franny soon becomes the center of attention. Pretty soon, her family comes around and agrees that she has the most wonderful head of hair and should never cut it. And that's when Franny surprises everyone..... The dynamic team of Harriet Lerner and Susan Goldhor have written a marvelous story about an individual who dares to be different and really knows her own mind. Their charming, witty text is complemented by Helen Oxenbury's bright, expressive and humorous illustrations that really captures the essence of strong willed Franny and the rest of her unusual family. Both children and adults will be laughing out loud at the antics of this wonderful little girl. Perfect for youngsters 4-8, Franny B Kranny, There's a Bird in your Hair is a treasure and a book kids want to read again and again.

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My Lost and Found Life Review

My Lost and Found Life
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"My Lost and Found Life" captivated me from the very first paragraph and didn't let me go. It is a heartwarming story about a young woman who is thrust into growing up fast, making the best of a bad situation, about making decisions right or wrong, about discovering love, relationships and learning to cope with life's journeys. Ashley's transformation is amazing, and I highly recommend this book to all the mothers out there whose daughters are coming of age and to all the daughters. I believe they will both enjoy it as much as I did. Good job!!

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Jersey Tomatoes are the Best Review

Jersey Tomatoes are the Best
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JERSEY TOMATOES ARE THE BEST is a deceptively light contemporary story that delves into the darker side of sports without getting preachy. Whether you're an athlete or not, girl or not, you'll find something to enjoy in this moving yet fun novel.
Henry and Eva are Jersey girls, best friends, and hardcore athletes. Henry is New Jersey's junior tennis champion, and Eva is on her way to becoming a world-renown ballet dancer. Their friendship has sustained them through disappointments and demanding parents, but when they separate to go off to different summer adventures--Henry to a nationally ranked tennis academy, Eva to the ultra-competitive New York School of Dance--can their friendship last through their different experiences and some shocking changes?
Padian's straightforward narration makes it very easy to relate to these Henry and Eva's situations. Few of us may be on Henry and Eva's level in terms of athletics, but it was still eye-opening to read about all the pressure they faced, the difficult choices they had to make. I thought that the girls' relationships with their parents was a pretty shockingly true portrayal of some overinvolved, living-out-their-dreams-through-their-children parents. The parents were realistically overwhelming: I didn't consider them exaggerations of the type, and instead could totally see this happening.
I am envious of Henry and Eva's friendship. These two, equal in pretty much everything, such as skill, looks, and wit, still displayed normal feelings of envy or inferiority at times. It was clear that the girls cared for each other very much, and yet their lives were clearly not wrapped up in the other's: they both have separate interests and dreams, after all.
Eva's heartbreaking eating disorder will resonate with anyone who has felt insecure in their bodies, often for all the wrong reasons. The voice in her head that yells at her felt a little extreme to me at times, but I am not one to judge for the voice's "accuracy;" I just recognize that this is something that definitely happens to people. Henry's romance at tennis camp also felt slightly contrived at times. Again, however, it may be that that was the point: their relationship was inseparable from their budding fame as star tennis players. And finally, as a Jersey girl myself, I thought it felt a little weird and unrealistic whenever Henry and Eva "acted Joisey": do people really do that? But hey, maybe they do.
These points didn't detract from my engagement with the story as a whole, however. JERSEY TOMATOES ARE THE BEST is a solid contemporary read, one that I would highly recommend to people looking for a good book involving female athletes.

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The Forgiving Self: The Road from Resentment to Connection Review

The Forgiving Self: The Road from Resentment to Connection
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I found this book perceptive and personally helpful.
Robert Karen is careful, at the beginning of the book, to make clear his intentions. He is not using forgiveness as a blanket application nor is he discussing the forgiveness of great atrocities (the Holocaust, 9/11, etc.) or the forgiveness of such terrible violations as sexual, physical and verbal abuse. He is exploring, rather, forgiveness as a step towards wholeness: the recognition that people can be both lovable and infuriating, that we ourselves can be flawed and yet worthwhile. Karen is encouraging the reader to move beyond "good guy--bad guy" tags, to accept that people--our parents, ourselves--can be imperfect without being the enemy.
This acceptance and recognition, Karen makes clear, is a process. He is not advocating forgiveness as something easy or instantaneous or even, sometimes, appropriate. Forgiving, from Karen's point of view, is a dialog, whether it is a dialog with another person or with our past. The hallmark of this kind of forgiveness is honesty--to honestly admit, "This is how I feel, this is what I'm doing, this is what I experience." Karen is not interested in "fixing" problems: "Okay, I won't do, feel, experience that anymore." He is interested in illustrating the achievement of being able to say, "Okay, I feel this envy or this malice. I don't like it. That's also part of me. I'm a whole person."
Wholeness is the object of Karen's book: how to achieve personal wholeness through recognizing the potential wholeness in other people: "I can still love someone even though they are flawed." In this, Karen accesses a deep truth, call it religious or ethical or whatever (and why should religion and ethics be removed from mental health?): to try to act towards others how we would like them to act towards us.
Karen uses a number of movies, books and current events as examples. Although some of these are applicable, and they are all very interesting, these object lessons are less credible and less applicable than his therapy work and personal experiences.

Recommendation: Buy it.

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The Year Money Grew on Trees Review

The Year Money Grew on Trees
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The Year Money Grew On Trees is an excellent storyline about a 14 year old boy who is given the opportunity to come into ownership of an apple orchard. The catch? He has to make $8000 from it the first year... and he doesn't have anyone to help! Soon young Jackson finds himself recruiting and paying his friends and family to help him out. This child-run orchard business begins to solidify friendships, help youth grow into adults, and reinforce the idea that responsibility and hard work do pay off in the end. There are heartwraming moments, learning to deal with adults in a calm and respectful manner (even if they aren't being fair), and lessons in economics and science. As a teacher I would recommend this book for 5th-8th graders. The numerous subjects covered in math, social studies, science, and language arts makes this a great book to integrate into other subjects in your classroom. Plus, the heartwarming relationships and growth of the soul make this a student-friendly read.

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Wow It Sure is Good to Be You Review

Wow It Sure is Good to Be You
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This is a beautiful and touching book about loving someone when you're not together. The text is poetic, with staggered rhymes. "Somebody, somewhere, is thinking about you,
Keeps your picture in their pocket,
Misses your kisses,
Loves you more than birds love trees,
more than brothers love to tease,
loves you even more than dogs have fleas,
and that's a lot too!
Loving you is their favorite thing to do.
Wow! It sure is good to be you!
And these sweet words are accompanied by fun, lively illustrations of a little girl going about her life while getting support from afar. I love the "Girl Power" crown on the kid's head. I love that she is a person of color. I love the picture of her acting out in her house. I love the aunt's/friend's/cool grandmother's hip bell-bottom pants. A wonderful book to share with the princess/rock star/cool girl in your life.

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Defying the Diva Review

Defying the Diva
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Fourteen year old Haley Patterson uses her freshman year as an opportunity to make a name for herself on the school newspaper and spend time with her friends. But when she accidentally gets Camilla Quinn, the popular girl and Queen Bee of the school, in trouble by leaking a little bit too much information on Camilla's latest party in her gossip column, Haley finds herself friendless and the target of Camilla's bullying.
Her only escape comes when she is forced to spend the summer with her Aunt Bitsy and work at an exclusive resort. Though she faces problems at first, Haley soon finds herself making new friends and dating the super-hot lifeguard that all the girls have a crush on. But, of course, good things don't last and Haley soon finds herself heart-broken and humiliated. Then, just as she's starting to see the light, Camilla shows up and Haley has to decide whether or not to let Camilla continue to destroy her happiness.
Defying the Diva is a fast-paced, heartbreaking, and truthful novel about what happens to the targets of bullying. Each of the characters, from Harrison, the quiet song writer, to Frankie, the overweight but cheerful girl, is well developed and easy to relate to. While I've never gone through anything quiet as horrible, Haley's story definitely hit home with me and I could not put it down once I started it. Whether you've been the target for teasing, had your best friend turn on you, or been cheated on by a guy, I highly recommend buying Defying the Diva the minute you see it.


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For Haley Patterson, freshman year of high school boils down to having a good time with her two best friends and making a name for herself at the school newspaper. But when Haley reveals one too many juicy details in her gossip column, superdiva and queen bee Camilla Quinn makes sure that Haley's life changes...for the worse. Completely ostracized by everyone at school, including her best friends, Haley finds herself alone and miserable. Reprieve comes in the form of a summer job at an exclusive mountain resort, where Haley forges new friend-ships, snags a cute lifeguard, and learns how to trust again. But her newfound hope is not bought without some heartbreak. As the summer draws to a close, an unexpected confrontation with Camilla forces Haley to face her fears. Will she continue to let Camilla control her life? Or will Haley find the confidence and courage to stand her ground? From the author of Picture Perfect and Semiprecious comes an honest, poignant novel about fear, friendship, and fighting back.

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Commitment and Healing: Gay Men and the Need for Romantic Love Review

Commitment and Healing: Gay Men and the Need for Romantic Love
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This terrific book makes two sustainable, important, and moving points: that monogamous gay relationships are possible, desirable, and wonderful, and that if a gay man cannot attain nirvana it is because of certain emotional hang-ups he has, which are possibly reversible by looking at oneself through the mirror that Dr. Isay provides. In my opinion the review from Publisher's Weekly cited above is way off the mark. This text is not narrowly but broadly oriented, and it offers real hope and help, far more than just a series of psychoanalytically-based formulations of no use to anyone but the theorist. I highly recommend it to gay men seeking love but having difficulty finding and sustaining it. Martin Kantor, author of "Together Forever: The Gay Man's Guide to Livelong Love. "

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"What's love got to do with it? Everything, according to Richard Isay's informed and illuminating look at the role of romance in modern gay life. I highly recommend this book for people of any generation and partnership status."--Dean H. Hamer, Ph.D., author of The Science of Desire and The God Gene"Richard Isay offers something far better than simple bromides and false hope. In this book, he challenges us with a provocative, illuminating, and ultimately hopeful look at ourselves and explains how those of us who yearn to love and be loved (and who doesn't?) can best find happiness and healing in a committed relationship."--Eric Marcus, author of The Male Couple's Guide and Together Forever"Many gay men (and others, too) are likely to find this book exceptionally interesting and helpful. In a series of vividly illuminating case histories and with a psychoanalyst's depth and clarity of insight, Richard Isay lucidly explains why gay men have particular difficulty in establishing and sustaining loving relationships and how they might sensibly improve their chances of doing so."--Harry G. Frankfurt, Ph.D., author of On Bullshit and The Reasons of Love"Richard Isay's portrayals of gay men's lives are likely to be controversial. Isay is not the stereotypical psychoanalyst who sits quietly while his patients ramble--and we're all the better for that. He has something to say and what he says is worth hearing. This provocative book should be read by anyone who yearns for but hasn't yet found real love."--William Rubenstein, Founding Director of the Williams Institute on Sexual Orientation Law and former Director of the ACLU Lesbian & Gay Rights Project"Based on Dr. Isay's three decades of experience working with gay men in therapy, this is a deeply thoughtful study of the difficulties gay men may experience with falling and staying in love. For a gay man, reading this book may cause him to revisit some dark places along his own life's journey, but it will also give him a glimpse of the self-affirmation and capacity for change that are the goals of gay-positive psychotherapy."--Simon LeVay, Ph.D., author of Human Sexuality and Queer Science"Indispensable insights from America's wisest observer of gay relationships."--Charles Kaiser, author of The Gay Metropolis"Gay people seek the freedom to marry for the same mix of reasons as non-gay people, and for most, love and commitment are central. Drawing on his exceptional expertise and decades of stories from his patients, Richard Isay explores the challenges and value of romantic love--how to overcome our pasts and enrich our present lives at home--as we build a future of greater equality and inclusion in society."--Evan Wolfson, author of Why Marriage Matters

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The Emerging Self: A Developmental Self & Object Relations Approach to the Treatment of the Closet Narcissistic Disorder of the Self Review

The Emerging Self: A Developmental Self and Object Relations Approach to the Treatment of the Closet Narcissistic Disorder of the Self
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Masterson is one of the few theoreticians [come] practitioners to offer a coherent and self-sufficient theory of personality disorders, including the narcissistic one. This book encourages diagnosticians to diagnose pathological narcissism, even when the presenting signs are misleading. Masterson believes in the unacanny ability of pernicious narcissism to disguise itself and manifest in numerous, uncharted, ways. His is a road map backed by impressive amounts of research and practice. The only drawback is that it presents only the views of the psychodynamic [come]object relations school of psychology and largely ignores advances in other fields. Sam Vaknin, author of "Malignant Self Love - Narcissism Revisited".

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This volume aims to shed light on one of the most difficult disorders to diagnose and treat: the closet narcissistic disorder of the self. The third of a series on the disorders of the self, the book fills a niche in the field of personality disorders. It describes not only the psychopathology and treatment of this disorder but, more importantly, demonstrates the key dynamics of the disorders of the self triad: self activation leads to anxiety and depression, which leads to defense. This is the central dynamic of all the disorders of the self, and its particular manifestations in the closet narcissistic personality disorder are described along with the therapeutic techniques required to identify and manage it. The volume also clarifies a great deal of the clinical confusion surrounding the disorder, and addresses such questions as: what does the clinical picture look like? What is the reason for the diagnostic confusion? How does one resolve it? What other disorders does this disorder mimic? How do you differentiate it from the borderline and/or schizoid disorders of the self? What are some possible etiologic factors? What precipitates a clinical syndrome?And what is the intrapsychic structure of this disorder? The book offers a clear and down-to-earth presentation on the subject, and aims to be of interest to all therapists, students, teachers and practitioners, enabling them to identify what emotional issues are on centre stage, understand how to deal with them, and also how to evaluate the results of his or her efforts. Beyond that, it illustrates the variations in countertransference that occur as a result of projective identification.

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