Attachment-Focused Parenting: Effective Strategies to Care for Children (Norton Professional Books) Review

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(More customer reviews)I wish, I wish, I wish I had read this book and heard Dr. Hughes speak before my explosive, difficult-to-parent foster son moved in. And then, reread the book again every three to six month months after that.
Fortunately, we have managed to make a lot of progress in spite of my mishandling of many situations, but how much sorrow and anguish we could have saved for both my son and myself had I understood what was going on.
For me, the book is a perfect blend of theory and example, but I do think Dr. Hughes (or someone) might consider writing some of this advice in the format of Boy's Town Foster Parent book, which is so helpful because it just tells the parent: do this. Sometimes, when the chaos is at its most intense, I need to be told what to do (kind of like my son!)
For those of you who are foster parenting and want to be reminded of what a difficult, demanding job you are doing, how important your role in the life of the child is, and that there is hope to create a loving, joyful relationshiop -- read Dr. Hughes book, and, if you can, attend a workshop. My hope, energy and commitment have been renewed. Thanks Dr. Hughes.

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You Can Go to the Potty (Sears Children Library) Review

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(More customer reviews)This book is excellent for parents who practice Attachment Parenting. It starts by explaining that when the child was a baby, their parents did everything for them. This shows a mother breastfeeding, parents and baby co-sleeping, and a father "wearing" the baby in a sling. It then talks about diapers and how as children get older, they use the potty like their parents. There are lots of parent tips that appear in the margins, encouraging further discussion and customizing things to suit your family's needs and preferences. As always, Dr. Sears encourages you to follow your instincts.
The story itself isn't much different from the one you'd find in The Potty Book or other training books. It follows a child through potty training, buying underwear, etc. The narrative uses language a child can understand, but sometimes it seemed a bit too babyish for me. ("poo-poo goes bye-bye"). I don't think you have to talk down to kids to get them to understand. But, that small complaint aside, the book is informative and positive. It's a wonderful teaching tool, and perfectly suited for Attachment families.

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The Forgiving Self: The Road from Resentment to Connection Review

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(More customer reviews)I found this book perceptive and personally helpful.
Robert Karen is careful, at the beginning of the book, to make clear his intentions. He is not using forgiveness as a blanket application nor is he discussing the forgiveness of great atrocities (the Holocaust, 9/11, etc.) or the forgiveness of such terrible violations as sexual, physical and verbal abuse. He is exploring, rather, forgiveness as a step towards wholeness: the recognition that people can be both lovable and infuriating, that we ourselves can be flawed and yet worthwhile. Karen is encouraging the reader to move beyond "good guy--bad guy" tags, to accept that people--our parents, ourselves--can be imperfect without being the enemy.
This acceptance and recognition, Karen makes clear, is a process. He is not advocating forgiveness as something easy or instantaneous or even, sometimes, appropriate. Forgiving, from Karen's point of view, is a dialog, whether it is a dialog with another person or with our past. The hallmark of this kind of forgiveness is honesty--to honestly admit, "This is how I feel, this is what I'm doing, this is what I experience." Karen is not interested in "fixing" problems: "Okay, I won't do, feel, experience that anymore." He is interested in illustrating the achievement of being able to say, "Okay, I feel this envy or this malice. I don't like it. That's also part of me. I'm a whole person."
Wholeness is the object of Karen's book: how to achieve personal wholeness through recognizing the potential wholeness in other people: "I can still love someone even though they are flawed." In this, Karen accesses a deep truth, call it religious or ethical or whatever (and why should religion and ethics be removed from mental health?): to try to act towards others how we would like them to act towards us.
Karen uses a number of movies, books and current events as examples. Although some of these are applicable, and they are all very interesting, these object lessons are less credible and less applicable than his therapy work and personal experiences.

Recommendation: Buy it.

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